Throughout all of my mental illness and recovery, I have never had much interest in psychiatry. A doctor once suggested that I describe my dreams to a psychoanalyst, with hopes that this would aid my recovery, as it had for others. Doubtful about its effectiveness for me, I never pursued this. Dreams are a neurobiological phenomenon and are of dubious therapeutic role as they once were perceived by psychoanalysis before the emergence of modern psychiatry. Psychoanalysis is now a very small entity within the broad field of psychiatry.

During my first three years in college, my passion was studying hard science. I was fascinated that a small pill could cure a bacterial infection, reduce blood pressure, or eliminate pain. Prior to developing schizophrenia, I dreamed of doing medical research in drug discovery and development.

Despite my interest in medications, when I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, I was entirely unfamiliar with psychiatric medications. I thought they caused drowsiness and lethargy, made some patients stare blankly into space, and were primarily for calming agitated persons. I never considered that psychiatric medications could help people recover from a mental disorder, or wondered how they worked. I thought that everyone who suffered with schizophrenia was locked up in an institution forever, as though schizophrenia was a life sentence. But that happened before the 1950s psychopharmacologic revolution, when antipsychotics, antidepressants and mood stabilizers were discovered.

Today, after eight years of full recovery from schizophrenia, I am fascinated by how psychiatric medications work, especially clozapine, the pill I take every day. Schizophrenia is often conceived as a” mental” illness, but it is in fact a neurologic and neurochemical illness of the brain, which responds to medications. Psychiatry– which often involves prescribing medications– is a hard science, every bit as solid as cardiology, nephrology, or oncology.

Sometimes  I wish I had more knowledge of psychology. I attended a seminar where a brilliant forensic psychologist described the methods he used to prove that a woman was innocent, although she had admitted to committing a crime. Through scientific methods, he proved she had been coerced into making a false confession. The psychologist upheld her innocence.

Today, I am confident that psychiatry can help many people. For me, the key to recovery from severe mental illness has been my commitment to never miss a day of my medication. I also am grateful to my psychiatrist for the supportive psychotherapy, which was vital: he encouraged me to re-enroll in college which led me to graduate with a B.S. in molecular biology (with honors!) and eventually, to write a book about my illness. Through all of it, my psychiatrist has been my physician, counselor, mentor, supporter, and my friend.

Everyone should know that psychiatry is a neuroscience. Recovery from severe mental illness is actually possible today with the help of medications, psychotherapy and rehabilitation.